"...is a good whipping!"

"I haven't come forth in a great many years because I didn't want to be relegated to another guest on a TV talk show. But I can assure you satanism is here to stay. Satan can take the form of a beautiful woman. Satan can take the form of a sleek animal. An automobile can be very satanic. These things can be anthropomorphized into Satan."

"Well, when I was a teenager I was interested in the occult. And the occult in those days meant you got dream books, and you got books on fortune telling and all that sort of thing. The closest thing there was anything about calling up spirits or demons and that sort of thing was a lot of gobble-de-goop where you stood around in a circle and you used the protective names of Jehova and Jesus and all that. And I tried it, oh, Lord knows I tried it, but it didn't work. So I thought to myself 'well, if I'm gonna call up any demons, if I'm gonna get any magical power, if I'm gonna get anything going my way, I'd better get on the side of those guys instead of protecting myself from them'."

"I love life, very much. And it's been said that I can't possibly love life, that I'm a very unhappy man, or must be a very unhappy man. And I would say that I'm a very happy man. An extremely happy man in a compulsively unhappy world."

"The Church of Satan would have nothing to do with thumping like breeders or abductions of children or the stealing of animals or that sort of thing. Because, again, the question... why? Certainly it isn't very satanic to want to take anything against its will."

"Sex goddesses of the past have been, largely as a result of luck more than anything else. However, in the case of Jane Mansfield, she was an active member of the Church of Satan, and certainly under tragic circumstances left the Church of Satan. In the situation concerning Miss Monroe, that was a long long time ago, long before the Church of Satan. However, she did have an unswerving interest in the dark side of life, and I think that was one of the main reasons that we managed to hit it off the way we did."

"To the detractors or the accusers or the people of the other side that would say that satanists would like to kill animals, sacrifice animals, I would say that they would make ideal human sacrifices. I love animals. I've always been part of animals. Animals are part of me."

"I believe that all churches of all denominations should be taxed to the hilt. If churches were taxed, as any other business, because that's what they are, simply businesses, if they were taxed the national debt would be wiped out overnight."